You Don't Need to Forgive

Trauma Recovery on Your Own Terms

To be released on Feb 25
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You Don't Need to Forgive
You Don't Need to Forgive
Trauma Recovery on Your Own Terms
You Don't Need to Forgive

Feeling pressured to forgive their offenders is a common reason trauma survivors avoid mental health services and support. Those who force, pressure, or encourage trauma survivors to forgive can unknowingly cause harm and sabotage their recovery. And such harm is entirely unnecessary–especially when research shows there is no consensus among psychologists, psychiatrists, and other professionals about whether forgiveness is necessary for recovery at all.

You Don’t Need to Forgive is an invaluable resource for trauma survivors and their clinicians who feel alienated and even gaslighted by the toxic positivity and moralism that often characterizes attitudes about forgiveness in psychology and self-help. Bringing together research and testimony from psychologists, psychotherapists, criminologists, philosophers, religious leaders, trauma survivors, psychotherapists, and experts in complex trauma recovery, Amanda Ann Gregory explores the benefits of elective forgiveness and the dangers of required forgiveness. Elective forgiveness gives survivors the agency to progress in their recovery on their own terms. Forgiveness is helpful for some, but it is not universally necessary for recovery; each person should have the power to choose.

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You Don't Need to Forgive

A journal for trauma survivors filled with
writing prompts to support recovery.

You Don't Need to Forgive

A discussion guide for mental
health professionals and supervisors.

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Quotes

Forgiveness should never be forced, pressured, encouraged, or recommended for trauma survivors in recovery.
Forgiveness is not a panacea. It does not make trauma disappear, nor does it heal all emotional wounds.
You should have the agency to explore, discover, embrace, ignore, oppose, or withhold forgiveness throughout your recovery.
Anger was never the villain; it was always a misunderstood ally. Forgiveness was never the hero, only an experience that was pitted against anger.
Forgiveness has been and will continue to be used as a weapon against oppressed survivors to maintain social inequalities, which causes further trauma.
Comparing your traumatic experience with another’s doesn’t make sense; if trauma were a competition, every survivor would be a winner.

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Trauma Recovery on Your Own Terms

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